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How to date, marry and love a creative woman

So recently I took a personality test as part of a book club. The fact that we were taking personality tests in a book club, is a hint that not much of what I do is conventional. It was no surprise that a huge portion of my score confirmed my creative side. I wished I’d learned to embrace and take my natural gifts seriously much earlier in life.

Anyway, I decided to write this blog because of a question that was part of an interview. "How do you balance being a wife with writing?" Ha! Who said that was happening? But truthfully, I think the key to any relationship is understanding how we each are wired. (and a whole lot of Jesus) I've been married a little over seven years and I'm still confused. So I give much of the credit to my husband.

However there's very much a learning curve. Being with a creative woman can be “interesting.” It's all fun and games until real life kicks in. So I'm here to help. None of this is scientifically proven but here are a few tips to thrive in a relationship with a creative/artistic woman:

1. We usually operate in extremes. We are either totally excited or completely uninterested; Overwhelmed or simply or just “whelmed;” Giddy with excitement or unmoved; Life is fabulous or "We're going to kill ourselves" (not really but we have a flair for the dramatics)

2. We are sensitive, but thanks to critics we develop thick skin. Even when we’re stabbed with a “one star” review, it takes us a minute to refrain from looking them up to stalk them online. So when and if that ever happens, stay out of the kitchen for a little while. Go find something to do, and give us a little space and perhaps don't expect dinner. As a matter of fact, bring home dinner.

3. We don’t really like social gatherings. Why? We’d rather be writing, painting, creating or whatever it is that we do. If we do decide to show up we are usually saying to ourselves, “I could be writing.” So don’t take it personal if we look bored or glazed over at your event. But we love other creative people. (Smile)

4. We like to smell the roses, run through the lavender fields and travel the world. (in real life or via Instagram) You may want to talk about the bills and plan for the future. We want to wing it. But seriously, we really like to smell the roses. So, if you take us to the beach, let us cry over a movie or do something really thoughtful (like buying us flowers), we are more than willing to talk about the household budget.

5. We don’t care if we eat or sleep, as long as we can make art. We will suffer for the art. So don’t call us on it.

6. We are passionate (this works for you) and love deep. This also is a plus for you. Don't mess with this one.

7. We like peace. Home is our sanctuary. Don’t disturb our “Chi” or prayer time. Take us off balance and you're going to pay, seriously.

8. "Winning" for you is not the same as winning for us. Success is the process of creating dude, the money is added extra. However, because of the advance in modern technology we are gradually learning to monetize our gifts. However, if you are great at accounting we gladly bow down to and honor your gifting. (Namaste)

9. We have little concept of time. We show up late, unless we are intentional and discipline ourselves to "adult" as needed. Again, we're smelling the roses, running through the lavender fields while characters are talking in our heads. (Don't judge us)

10. We like thoughtfulness. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive gift if you really put effort into it. This also works for you.

Like any relationship it's a give and take. One thing is for certain, life with a creative woman is never dull. Buckle up and enjoy the ride, because it's often worth it.

To learn more about my books and literary ventures please visit:

My name is Norma L. Jarrett and I approve this message

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